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When My Quarter-Life Crisis Hit
I’m a planner. Not with a pretty planner notebook that I fill out and make pretty each week, and that’s not for a lack of trying. But I like to have plans in my life.
For the last 6 years of my life, I’ve been planning something big. First, it was moving in together into our first apartment. Then buying our first house, and then we got engaged and I had a whole year and a half to plan our wedding.
So when I turned 25 last year I was a month away from my wedding. I had been so wrapped up in the planning part that I hadn’t had time to stop and look around me. The first 6 months after our wedding were great. Then something snapped.
I realized that I was about to turn 26 and had no idea what to do next. I had nothing planned and I didn’t even know where to start. I felt lost. I felt like a failure because as this was happening, I had one question that felt like it was consuming me. This is it? My quarter life crisis arrived.
What is a Quarter-Life Crisis?
A quarter life crisis is a season of life that happens sometime in your twenties. It can last anywhere from a few months to several years.
And I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you. This happens. It happened to me, it’s happened to several of my friends and there are a ton of blog posts out there that prove it’s happened to them too.
You are not alone in this season. It is best described by Kali Rogers in her book, Conquering your Quarter Life Crisis. She describes your twenties as consisting of throwing a bunch of shit on the wall and seeing what sticks.
& it is.
7 Signs of a Quarter-Life Crisis
These are a few signs that you could be experiencing that would point to a quarter-life crisis. You may be experiencing some or all of them.
Check in with yourself to determine if a quarter life crisis is something that could be hindering you.
#1 – You feel like your suffocating in your job
You graduated high school like you were supposed to. You went to college and graduated like you were supposed to. Then you got a job like you were supposed to.
Only now it’s a couple years later. You definitely thought you’d have been farther along by now. At the same time though, the thought of a promotion terrifies you. That’s because it cements the final “I can not leave this job now” thought process you have going on.
#2 – All your friends seem light years ahead of where you are
Every night as you scroll through your Facebook or Instagram feed, you can’t help but roll your eyes. All you see is all your friends and their perfect lives with their perfect families. So you think to yourself why aren’t you there yet?
#3 – You’re questioning the direction of your relationship or why you haven’t had one
You and your significant other have been together a while but it feels like you’ve gotten comfortable together. Or you don’t a significant other and all your friends are off getting married.
#4 – Despite everything that you have accomplished in your life you’re still not happy
You’re making decent money at your job. You’ve hit all the marks you set for yourself. Degree? Check. Good paying job? Check. Nice husband? Check. Then you think to yourself, why TF am I still not happy? What else is there? And my personal favorite, This really can’t be it?
#5 – Making decisions, even small ones, feels like a chore
You know you’re meant for more. But you don’t know what or how to get there. Just doing the simple Google search to figure it out, or at least get you to a place to help you figure it out, seems daunting. Heck, even picking where you want to go for dinner feels daunting.
#6 – You feel alone in this season
Since you see everyone else doing all of the things, you think you must be the only person on the planet to feel like this. Clearly, Marsha with your 3 perfect kids and Betty with her hunky husband and mansion of a house don’t feel like this.
#7 – You don’t feel like you have a purpose at all
Maybe you’re stuck in a job that has no direction. Or maybe you just feel like your life has no purpose at all. When you were younger you dreamed of changing the world and now, you push papers behind a desk. Again, you ask yourself, this can’t be it?
It is perfectly normal
I want you to understand that what you are going through is normal. You’re not weird or the only person on the planet who has felt like this. Just talk to some of your friends about your struggles, I bet they’ve been through something similar.
& know that you are going to make it through this.
Leave a comment below to tell us about your quarter-life crisis. Need someone to talk too? Shoot me an email at tia(at)livingwellmillennial(dot)com.
